I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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