i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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