He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
