youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
