So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
