He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
