I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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