Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
