it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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