im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
should my penis look like a turkey
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize