The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
