You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
