What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
