I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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