So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
