I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
