By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize