Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
