Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
