My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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