I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
