I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize