i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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