i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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