Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
