I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
