who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
