well you can't waste a boner
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
