Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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