i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
