I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize