the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
being pregnant is like rehab
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
