I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
