If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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