I need help removing her.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so let's talk penis.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
