apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
