is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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