Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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