R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
