On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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