I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
