I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
