problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
is wine microwaveable?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
