The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
