she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
