plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
birth control should be required to get into college
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
