Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
