So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
