its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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