There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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