so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize