Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
