He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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