You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
