too bad you live with your parents still
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We are two peas in an std pod
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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