I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Oh god it's open bar.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
