I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
