Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
