oh god the rape fog is back!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
