I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
