somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Moan for me like Helen Keller
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize