Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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