New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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