I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
