I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
only you would photoshop your dick
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
