Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
