At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just googled if crying burns calories
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
