So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
