I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
