I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
