I'm really into asian looking animals
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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