We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
