That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
