just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
