$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
bring money and cleavage
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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