I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
