I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
