you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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